Somewhere between who I was and who I wish to be
Such a great post! Far too much here that I can identify with, and plenty to ruminate on for some time to come. I'll have to check out this book, and look forward to reading of your further progress as you travel this never ending road of incremental improvement. Just think of what Deming did for Japan!
Arguably, I am not the person who should throw grenades at essays because they harbor 5 dollar words that can reek of pretentiousness because when I head to the keyboard I am apt to forget that I am David Gottfried and imagine myself rich and elite Lyton Stratchey (part of the bloomsbury set) and scribble down tons of polysyllabic ten dollar words
But the discussion of liminal shit really is over-doing it. What you are talking about is nothing new. You have not divined a new problem. Your problems are not specific to you. It's called procrastination and its ubiquitous.
My other issues re your essay will be discussed in a private email to you.