Two more books for you :-). “The Untethered Soul” by Michael S Singer, and “The Road Less Traveled” by M Scott Peck. They teach about subjective perception, our stubborn mental maps and expectations of how things and others should be, and that annoying antagonist bossy “voice in our head”. And some other cool stuff. I wouldn’t say either of these are spiritual, they’re more scientific and psychological. Very practical. And once you read them, it makes it nearly impossible not to be aware of where our feelings and emotions are really coming from. That knowledge is incredibly helpful in maintaining inner calm and control of our own happiness. I still suck at it sometimes, stubborn human that I am :-). But I expect that over time I’ll get better at remaining conscious of all the tricks our minds play on us. Perhaps these two books will give you insight into where your dissatisfaction with life stems from? Is it your life(?) that needs changes, is it your mind(?) that needs it, is it a combination of both?
Hi Shondra. I apologize about taking so long to reply to this. Blame the busy-ness and, some business, we had to attend to. (see what I did there?).
I've read "The Road Less Traveled", though it has been at least 30 years. I like the title, "The Untethered Soul". That alone makes it worthy of consideration - plus your recommendation. I'll check it out.
I've concluded that both our life and my mind need some adjusting. Real, pragmatic and functional things. Not just an attitude adjustment. Deb and I talked about this yesterday and plan to make time to have two weekly pow-wows to move certain things forward.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!
No worries :-). Get that book! Quick read and hard to put down. Enormously insightful. A great foundation for any “improvement/happiness” journey. For outer, action-type of dissatisfaction, I recommend “Atomic Habits.” Keep on!
I don't want to appear insufficiently sensitive, bu you do not strike me as having the slightest scintilla of depresson. Indeed, I am very envious of you because I consider you a member of an elect congregation: The well-adjusted.
First an introductory semi-joke which illustrates the farcical nature of our thoughts re depression and emotional problems:
Consider this hypothetical:
A) John's house is on fire
B) This prompts John to be anxious and makes his heart beat faster
C) John is exhibiting the classic signs of an anxiety disorder (Formerly called anxiety neurosis, but the term neurosis was dropped from the APA's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual becasue of its specific Freudian meanings)
D) Should we give John valium. OF COURSE NOT.
There is a song, a saying and a movie about schizophrenics entitled,
"I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN."
The human condition is not one of eternal edenic joy.
A feeling of anger or sadness or dismay is not necessarily a sign of emotional derangment.
Sometimes, unpleasant feelings tell us to wake up and get rid of the rabid rats in our basement.
_______
The more one learns about psychodiagnostics, the more one learns to mistrust it
Compare and contrast with the diagnosis of physical ailments:
We can feel, see and often smell (it has a cruddy fecal sort of smell) an infected appendix
No one has ever seen, felt let alone quantified the ego or the superego.
Psychodiagnostics is filled with ambiguities, confusion, and arbitrariness.
The percentage of children with a diagnosis of attention deficit disorder has surged.
In prior years, they were GETTING DIFFERENT DIAGNOSES BECASUSE PSYCHIATRIC INTERESTS MAY HABE BEEN DIFFERENT.
Years ago, one of the most common diagnoses for middle aged women and young men was NEUROSTHENIA, a sort of withdrawal from the world characterized by complaints of exhaustion and disinterest. Are they getting the diagnosis of depressoin today.
Sometimes, a diagnose depends on what a doctor is looking for and where his ideological committments lie:
Compare and Contrast:
Many male homosexuals complained, both in turn of the century Vienna and contemporary New York, of diarrhea and gastro intestinal disturbances:
A) Shortly befoire World War One, Freud hypthesized that this was a manifestation of GUILT as homosexual sex involved the end point of the GI tract, the anus.
B) In 1968, the New England Journal of Medicine published an article entited "Manhattan, The Tropical Isle." The article noted that many gay men had GI problems from intestinal parasites more commonly seen in tropical climates.
When Deb calls me, "Freakshow" I take that to mean, "the most well-adjusted person I know". In short, I agree with you. I'm the model of well-adjusted. Just ask me.
My bout with depression was real, but temporary. It was situational, not chronic or chemical. If one must suffer from any type of depression, mine was the easiest and best.
I do get anxious but it shows itself in a mostly functional form. ie: I get super focused on getting something done. The only challenge it presents for those around me is that I become horrifically impatient and cold. Basically, "stay out of my way" becomes my MO.
A lot of people think I am an intellectual or psuedo intellectual exhibitionist whose fancy shmancy speech is disconnected from real life. Well I can give you an example of how I, at a must better stage of my life, learned, from analystic treatises, how to heal my own life.
Years ago, I read a book by one Mr. Fritz Perls entitled "Ego, Hunger and Agression."
He said: When one doesn' t have the guts to attack the party whom one wants to hurt,, one attacks oneself in the form of depression.
I reasoned: I can get out of my depression if I unleash my rage on that which was external to me. So I blasted "Brown Sugar" as often as I took a leak (my music was my way of pissing on people.) I did other things that I shouldn't mention.
This of course segues into another field that most people never discuss:
Public Heatlh versus Private Health
What is good for society's health is not necessarily good for an individual's health
Courage to you for being so up front about how messy and screwed up life and we can be and specially for your say no to other people's kind words - I get that totally. It\s my pain my shame - I might want to tell you I feel it but I don't want you to try and heal it. Least I think that's what your were saying...Mindfulness is cool - I particularly enjoyed the Headspace app which has the voice of an Andy Puddcombe an English ex Buddhist monk and some very cool exercises and concepts. It's become a big corporation now but I think he\s a good guy. That said I'm more in a Madness is My Muse Mode right now... PS Great shots by Deb
Thanks Nick. I'm not sure I would call it courage. I live so much of my life in a state of amazing self-confidence - at least in those areas of strength where I play most often.
It could be that acknowledging a past solitary moment of depression or a current moments of some malaise is as much arrogance as admission. Perhaps I'm just letting the commoners see that I too have had a struggle or two. ;-)
In truth, I have been blessed with health, reasonable intellect, some artistic talent, and, generally, a good (generally happy) disposition. Recognizing that life involves trials from time to time does not change this.
You strike me as significantly more courageous. You are dealing with a significant health/life challenge and have found a way to address that with transparency and self-deprecating humor.
Matthew - we could make this run and run - saying nice things to each other.
Given your situation is as blessed as you describe above then to my mind all the more courageous to write about you D times, causing your child to cry and telling your partner that you’re Dissatisfied.
I’ve just begun to see that I’m riding my health change to create a new badass online persona for myself and tap into my past to make up some (hopefully) good stories. Not drowning but waving - look at me m*********s!
Music and writing songs is a great cathartic activity. I went through some dark times with cancer (I'm in remission) and there were days when the best I could do was pick up a guitar and rest my head and arms on it. I also wrote lots of songs that helped me get through. I had a friend TXT me every day encouraging me to play every day, even if it was just for 5 minutes. It helped immensely. I started a big project called The Cancer Diaries and planned to create an ambitious record complete with a gospel choir for the finale. I recorded some demos but otherwise have left it behind. Its purpose wasn't something for other people to hear, it was to help me heal emotionally, and it did.
I'm glad you are in remission. I like that idea of the Cancer Diaries. While written for you as a cathartic exercise, there is, unfortunately, an audience that might truly appreciate it.
I can relate to your comment about not knowing what depression was. My dad passed away in 1997 and I figure that I was depressed for 2 and a half years. I didn't know that I was depressed until I wasn't. Twenty five years ago, people really didn't talk about depression as they do now.
It certainly took a toll on my business and on my life. I can see how my income suffered and my debt rose over those years. The income returned, though the debt took many years to pay off.
I was never cavalier about depression - ie:"Just be happy!", type of comments. But I was definitely not very aware of it.
As I went through it and climbed out of it, I was left with anxiety... or a recognition that my frenetic activity at times is anxiety. But I thankfully was able to reflect on that experience and find it illuminating. I learned some things about myself.
Two more books for you :-). “The Untethered Soul” by Michael S Singer, and “The Road Less Traveled” by M Scott Peck. They teach about subjective perception, our stubborn mental maps and expectations of how things and others should be, and that annoying antagonist bossy “voice in our head”. And some other cool stuff. I wouldn’t say either of these are spiritual, they’re more scientific and psychological. Very practical. And once you read them, it makes it nearly impossible not to be aware of where our feelings and emotions are really coming from. That knowledge is incredibly helpful in maintaining inner calm and control of our own happiness. I still suck at it sometimes, stubborn human that I am :-). But I expect that over time I’ll get better at remaining conscious of all the tricks our minds play on us. Perhaps these two books will give you insight into where your dissatisfaction with life stems from? Is it your life(?) that needs changes, is it your mind(?) that needs it, is it a combination of both?
Hi Shondra. I apologize about taking so long to reply to this. Blame the busy-ness and, some business, we had to attend to. (see what I did there?).
I've read "The Road Less Traveled", though it has been at least 30 years. I like the title, "The Untethered Soul". That alone makes it worthy of consideration - plus your recommendation. I'll check it out.
I've concluded that both our life and my mind need some adjusting. Real, pragmatic and functional things. Not just an attitude adjustment. Deb and I talked about this yesterday and plan to make time to have two weekly pow-wows to move certain things forward.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!
No worries :-). Get that book! Quick read and hard to put down. Enormously insightful. A great foundation for any “improvement/happiness” journey. For outer, action-type of dissatisfaction, I recommend “Atomic Habits.” Keep on!
I don't want to appear insufficiently sensitive, bu you do not strike me as having the slightest scintilla of depresson. Indeed, I am very envious of you because I consider you a member of an elect congregation: The well-adjusted.
First an introductory semi-joke which illustrates the farcical nature of our thoughts re depression and emotional problems:
Consider this hypothetical:
A) John's house is on fire
B) This prompts John to be anxious and makes his heart beat faster
C) John is exhibiting the classic signs of an anxiety disorder (Formerly called anxiety neurosis, but the term neurosis was dropped from the APA's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual becasue of its specific Freudian meanings)
D) Should we give John valium. OF COURSE NOT.
There is a song, a saying and a movie about schizophrenics entitled,
"I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN."
The human condition is not one of eternal edenic joy.
A feeling of anger or sadness or dismay is not necessarily a sign of emotional derangment.
Sometimes, unpleasant feelings tell us to wake up and get rid of the rabid rats in our basement.
_______
The more one learns about psychodiagnostics, the more one learns to mistrust it
Compare and contrast with the diagnosis of physical ailments:
We can feel, see and often smell (it has a cruddy fecal sort of smell) an infected appendix
No one has ever seen, felt let alone quantified the ego or the superego.
Psychodiagnostics is filled with ambiguities, confusion, and arbitrariness.
The percentage of children with a diagnosis of attention deficit disorder has surged.
In prior years, they were GETTING DIFFERENT DIAGNOSES BECASUSE PSYCHIATRIC INTERESTS MAY HABE BEEN DIFFERENT.
Years ago, one of the most common diagnoses for middle aged women and young men was NEUROSTHENIA, a sort of withdrawal from the world characterized by complaints of exhaustion and disinterest. Are they getting the diagnosis of depressoin today.
Sometimes, a diagnose depends on what a doctor is looking for and where his ideological committments lie:
Compare and Contrast:
Many male homosexuals complained, both in turn of the century Vienna and contemporary New York, of diarrhea and gastro intestinal disturbances:
A) Shortly befoire World War One, Freud hypthesized that this was a manifestation of GUILT as homosexual sex involved the end point of the GI tract, the anus.
B) In 1968, the New England Journal of Medicine published an article entited "Manhattan, The Tropical Isle." The article noted that many gay men had GI problems from intestinal parasites more commonly seen in tropical climates.
Hey David,
When Deb calls me, "Freakshow" I take that to mean, "the most well-adjusted person I know". In short, I agree with you. I'm the model of well-adjusted. Just ask me.
My bout with depression was real, but temporary. It was situational, not chronic or chemical. If one must suffer from any type of depression, mine was the easiest and best.
I do get anxious but it shows itself in a mostly functional form. ie: I get super focused on getting something done. The only challenge it presents for those around me is that I become horrifically impatient and cold. Basically, "stay out of my way" becomes my MO.
HOW I SOLVLED BOUTS OF DEPRESSION IN THE PAST
A lot of people think I am an intellectual or psuedo intellectual exhibitionist whose fancy shmancy speech is disconnected from real life. Well I can give you an example of how I, at a must better stage of my life, learned, from analystic treatises, how to heal my own life.
Years ago, I read a book by one Mr. Fritz Perls entitled "Ego, Hunger and Agression."
He said: When one doesn' t have the guts to attack the party whom one wants to hurt,, one attacks oneself in the form of depression.
I reasoned: I can get out of my depression if I unleash my rage on that which was external to me. So I blasted "Brown Sugar" as often as I took a leak (my music was my way of pissing on people.) I did other things that I shouldn't mention.
This of course segues into another field that most people never discuss:
Public Heatlh versus Private Health
What is good for society's health is not necessarily good for an individual's health
Courage to you for being so up front about how messy and screwed up life and we can be and specially for your say no to other people's kind words - I get that totally. It\s my pain my shame - I might want to tell you I feel it but I don't want you to try and heal it. Least I think that's what your were saying...Mindfulness is cool - I particularly enjoyed the Headspace app which has the voice of an Andy Puddcombe an English ex Buddhist monk and some very cool exercises and concepts. It's become a big corporation now but I think he\s a good guy. That said I'm more in a Madness is My Muse Mode right now... PS Great shots by Deb
Thanks Nick. I'm not sure I would call it courage. I live so much of my life in a state of amazing self-confidence - at least in those areas of strength where I play most often.
It could be that acknowledging a past solitary moment of depression or a current moments of some malaise is as much arrogance as admission. Perhaps I'm just letting the commoners see that I too have had a struggle or two. ;-)
In truth, I have been blessed with health, reasonable intellect, some artistic talent, and, generally, a good (generally happy) disposition. Recognizing that life involves trials from time to time does not change this.
You strike me as significantly more courageous. You are dealing with a significant health/life challenge and have found a way to address that with transparency and self-deprecating humor.
Matthew - we could make this run and run - saying nice things to each other.
Given your situation is as blessed as you describe above then to my mind all the more courageous to write about you D times, causing your child to cry and telling your partner that you’re Dissatisfied.
I’ve just begun to see that I’m riding my health change to create a new badass online persona for myself and tap into my past to make up some (hopefully) good stories. Not drowning but waving - look at me m*********s!
Music and writing songs is a great cathartic activity. I went through some dark times with cancer (I'm in remission) and there were days when the best I could do was pick up a guitar and rest my head and arms on it. I also wrote lots of songs that helped me get through. I had a friend TXT me every day encouraging me to play every day, even if it was just for 5 minutes. It helped immensely. I started a big project called The Cancer Diaries and planned to create an ambitious record complete with a gospel choir for the finale. I recorded some demos but otherwise have left it behind. Its purpose wasn't something for other people to hear, it was to help me heal emotionally, and it did.
Hi Luigi.
Thank you for commenting.
I'm glad you are in remission. I like that idea of the Cancer Diaries. While written for you as a cathartic exercise, there is, unfortunately, an audience that might truly appreciate it.
I can relate to your comment about not knowing what depression was. My dad passed away in 1997 and I figure that I was depressed for 2 and a half years. I didn't know that I was depressed until I wasn't. Twenty five years ago, people really didn't talk about depression as they do now.
It certainly took a toll on my business and on my life. I can see how my income suffered and my debt rose over those years. The income returned, though the debt took many years to pay off.
Thanks for commenting Marc.
I was never cavalier about depression - ie:"Just be happy!", type of comments. But I was definitely not very aware of it.
As I went through it and climbed out of it, I was left with anxiety... or a recognition that my frenetic activity at times is anxiety. But I thankfully was able to reflect on that experience and find it illuminating. I learned some things about myself.