It's All Music! It's Perfect!
About Psychedelics or Bad Pizza!
Purpose: To catch you up
Last weekend I took magic mushrooms… a fair amount.
Unless you’re one of those judgy, hand-wringing, moralistic, do-gooders I sometimes write about. Then I ate a mushroom pizza and ended up with food poisoning. Not the worst food poisoning I’ve ever had.
…and then things got weird.
No… not weird. Things got beautiful!
Experiences are all we have
I’ve been letting Deb know that I planned on taking this trip for a few years. I’d spoken to some people close to me (a few of my kids and some friends) about my intention. There are several psychedelic experiences I am considering…
Peyote (preferably on an specific Indian reservation in Arizona - a bit of an invite only thing… but I know a guy).
I am not religious but am looking to experience a largely solitary transcendent experience… Let’s avoid the word, “spiritual” as it is contextless.LSD
Ayahuasca
??
Why Matt?
All reasonable evidence makes is probable that we get one life for experiences. Have interesting ones.
Also, psychedelics are non-addictive and, largely, do not have negative physical effects but can have positive emotional effects. A little more on this below.
Finally… why not?
I may write on this more at a later time but my reasons are my reasons. And, of paramount importance, my trips are my trips.
Set and Setting
In his book, “How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence”, author Michael Pollan talks a lot about set and setting.
Set is your mindset, understanding, and anticipation of the psychedelic experience. Setting is, largely, your location - does it lend itself to something positive and relaxed?
Set: I had no anxiety or apprehension - either medically or fear of a bad trip. It’s my nature to be sanguine about such things. This is probably helpful.
Setting: We were Joshua Tree - in a house (see photo above) that had a distinct 1960’s retro vibe. A couple acres of land with numerous areas to sit and take in the scenery. It was remarkable, peaceful, and beautiful without an altered mind.
It was REMARKABLE, PEACEFUL, and BEAUTIFUL with an altered mind.
Profundities Happen
Certain psychedelics can give you simple profundities. Think, “Love is all you need”.
The phrase, the profundity, cannot capture the emotional essence that you experience. And, as we discovered the next morning, pictures cannot as well. ;-)
But I had a few moments.
I like when you enter my scene
I knew that when I was going to trip that I wanted to spend a fair amount of solitary time. Just walking away from the group and observing what I was experiencing.
Deb was busy with whatever she was doing… and that was all good. But, from time to time, she would walk over to check in on me. Every time I was struck by how much I enjoyed seeing her face enter my scene.
To be honest, I have that experience often - without mushrooms. But I kept telling her, “I like when you enter my scene.”
I laughed about it then and am still laughing about it. How hippie does that shit sound?
It doesn’t matter
I am not a fan of the political direction of my country. Primarily the anti-science, anti-humanity, anti-compassion messaging is, for me, a grotesque abridgement of rationality and basic kindness.
As I told someone yesterday, the “religions of peace” are certain to kill a lot of children as they work toward that peace.
But… Deb and I walked to the edge of the yard to look at the stars. There were a LOT of stars… in fact, we don’t have stars in Los Angeles. Joshua Tree has stars.
I spent some time looking into the cosmos, the vastness of space.
I pondered how we (humans) have developed and are developing technology that allows us to take microscopic steps to explore that vastness.
I also thought about the absurdity of how we will spend more time, money, and effort in figuring out how to use that technology to kill each other. Amen, Shalom, and Allahu Akbar.
But, looking into those stars - those “breathing and dancing” stars - I recognized that the cosmos is not troubled by our angry bravado. Long after we squander our opportunity, it will continue to breath and dance until it doesn’t.
It’s all music! It’s perfect!
I kept walking away from the group. This was my plan from the start. Don’t get me wrong, they were fun. There were lots of laughs.
But I had my guitar and didn’t want to impose on their trip unnecessarily. I like being alone. I like observing. Plus, it gave me the opportunity to have Deb walk into my scene. ;-)
I was standing at a chain-link fence, listening to the wind and the sound of the fire and people behind me.
Wind, moving past your ears has a tonal quality. But you can also hear the wind going through bushes and swirling around whatever else is in the air. While listening and strumming my guitar I was looking to the West at the gradient of sky - blues and purples leading to those amazing dancing stars.
The fence seemed to represent all the expectations and busy-ness that often causes us to miss the beauty. It’s an artificial, self-constructed barrier.
As I took this in - the wind, the guitar, the sky, the stars - I started laughing and said, “It’s all music! It’s perfect!”
A moment later, Deb walked into my scene to see what I was doing.
I started laughing again and repeated, “It’s all music! It’s perfect!” Even her walking into my scene was musical.
We are nearly a week out from that experience and those profundities are still with me. It’s still all music and it’s still perfect!
Re-reading this, I like it well enough but it is insufficient to truly share my experience. That is, of course, expected. That is true in the best of cases with any writing and certainly when writing about what happens deep inside your mind.
Still, I hope I captured something of interest and food for thought.
Thank you for joining me on my journey trip!
With Love and Gratitude,
Matthew Moran
June 27, 2025
P.S. - Music is happening in the margins due to time constraints. I’m sitting in with my friend Emiko this weekend on an instrumental recording of some of her songs. More on this later.
P.S.S. - About the relatively safety of psychedelics. While mostly safe, people prone to high-states of anxiety or with a history of mental illness might want to avoid psychedelics. At least do a bit of research… what I wrote above is NOT research. Michael Pollan’s book, mentioned above, is a good starting point.
You are Fearless Matthew, both in experiencing life and your writing! Thank you.